Sudden Enlightenment 悟道偶得

Today I suddenly realized that the reason why I had not been able to have enough kindness was that I dared not be kind; and the reason why I dared not be kind was that I dared not let go of myself. Therefore I had put on a shield outside myself to protect my ego. I dared not try to experience how it would feel to be a being that completely lives for others; and therefore I couldn't become one. 
今天突然悟到，之所以一直未能修出善來，是因爲自己不敢善；而不敢善的原因，還是因爲放不下自我，不敢不做自我保護，不敢去體驗一個完全爲他的生命是怎樣一種境界，當然就更不能成爲一個完全爲他的生命了。
In this sense, I had actually not been able to believe that selflessness is the most important quality of the new cosmos.
從這個意義上講，我也未能真正發自內心地相信未來的宇宙是爲他的。
If the  starting point of the new cosmos is selflessness, how can I enter it if I dare not and would not believe it?  
如果說，新的宇宙的特性就是爲他的，我這種不敢、不信，豈不是進入新宇宙的最大障礙？
I had always thought that I was a person who dared to let go of everything. After realizing the above, I knew that I wasn't one actually.
一直以爲自己是個很能豁出去的人，還是豁得不全面、不徹底啊，從某種程度上說，這是一種假的豁出去。
Okey, let me begin with treating all the people around me with kindness first, as stated in my "New Year Resolution". 
那麼，正如自己在《新年願景》中所說的那樣，不用講什麼大道理、或做什麼驚天之舉，就踏踏實實從善待身邊的人開始吧！
This kind of kindness could seem "minor"; but it is related to the starting point of one's being: whether you are a selfish or selfless person. So, the old saying in China that "Do not fail to commit an act of kindness just because it is small" really does contain a lot of wisdom!
這種「善」雖然小，卻關係到生命的根本：是爲他，還是爲私？所以古人所說的「莫以善小而不爲」真是大智慧啊！

1/10/2018