A Girl Called Niu Niu Will Return Home 有个叫妞妞的孩子要回家

(Jennifer’s note: This is a poem by Professor Ai Xiaoming, based on a widely circulated photo of a father waiting for his daughter who died in the flood on July 20 at the Shakou Subway Station in Zhengzhou City, Henan Province in China, with a sign written on a paper board that says “Niu Niu, Dad still wants to bike you home.” In Henan province, little girls are often called Niu Niu. Chinese people believe that after people die, their souls/spirits will return to pay a last visit to his/her family members before he/she goes into the next reincarnation. People will prepare food for the dead ones, but will prevent themselves from being seen by the dead, so that the spirits/souls can leave with a carefree heart.)

（曾錚注：本詩爲廣州中山大學退休教授艾曉明爲在鄭州地鐵淹水事件中失去女兒的這位「雨衣爸爸」所寫，我將它翻譯成了英文。中文原文在英文下面。）

By Ai Xiaoming, translated from Chinese by Jennifer Zeng with assistance from Damian Robin

From now on, everybody needs to remember your name

From now on, every drop of rain is a tear

From now on, Dad will be waiting for you here every day

From Spring to Summer, from tonight until his hair turns grey

Niu Niu, were you a schoolgirl?

Were you quite independent, did you laugh a lot?

Did you love singing best, or drawing?

Were you wearing a school uniform, or a flowery skirt?

Dad biked here from afar

Dad remembers today is the 7th day [since you left]

On the 7th day, souls [of the dead] return home

Dad is afraid that you’ll be hungry on the way

Dad puts his own meal box in the basket

While Nui Nui's is hung on the handlebar

Niu Niu's meal box is so full

And firmly in place 

Have a good meal and go on to your next life with a full stomach 

Don't ever look back

Don't look for Dad

Don't worry that Dad will leave

You can only be as light as a feather if you don't see Dad

Your panic, despair, and suffocation

Leave them all behind

Let Dad carry the burden as heavy as a mountain

Oh that man sits there

How long does he plan to sit?

One half of a cardboard box is under him

Written on the other piece is a reunion that cannot be ever missed

I try to finish the sentence

But I just can’t

How strong, or how soft we need to be

To be able to read the words from this dad’s heart

“Niu Niu, Dad Still Wants to 

Bike You Home.”

I hope a statue will be built at the entrance to the subway

To carve this nameless father

Don’t let him stand tall like that man who blasted the bunker*

Don’t carve any words from the officials on the base

Just like this, with his head hanging low

A man in a thin waterproof cape

Bent and humble, loyal and sorrowful, speechless

As plain and fragile as the cardboard box on the ground

Like that old-fashioned bike, built before electric motors

Like that bamboo pole that holds up the cardboard sign

Using all its strength to hold up the words

Niu Niu, have you seen the writing of your Dad?

I know they call all the little girls Niu Niu in Henan

I know that because one Niu Niu was abandoned

She ended up becoming an Olympic legend for another country **

But I also know that many Niu Niu have such a father

He can’t afford flowers

But he brings his Niu Niu food

Like the mourners who place their flowers there

He puts himself on the ground

As he has to wait for you to come get your meal

He can’t boast like a professor of Peking University

“When Dad gets rich, he will buy you an American residency.”

He sits there lonely 

Like a stone left behind after the flood

They can cover the view of flowers with a shield***

But how can they block the view of Niu Niu’s Dad?

He sits there

As sad as the air, connecting life and death

From now on, whenever I think of Zhengzhou, I will think of this father

From now on, I can never forget that the subway has taken Niu Niu away

From now on, every rainfall is a farewell

From now on, we’ll witness the waiting of an angel here

From Spring to Summer, from tonight, until his hair turns grey

***********

*“That man who blasted the bunker”: Refers to Dong Cunrui, a CCP soldier who was portrayed as hero for blasting himself together with the enemy’s bunker during the Chinese Civil War.

** “She ended up becoming an Olympics legend for another country”:   Refers to Canada’s Maggie MacNeil, who was abandoned by her biological parents in China as a baby, and captured Canada’s first gold medal at the 2020 Tokyo Olympics on July 26, 2021

*** “You can cover the view of flowers with a shield”: The CCP authorities used a shield to block the view of the flowers at the subway station on July 27, when the public mourned the dead in the July 20 flood in Zhengzhou.

7/28/2021 *

The CCP authorities used a shield to block the view of the flowers at the subway station on July 27, when the public mourned the dead in the July 20 flood in Zhengzhou.

艾晓明：有个叫妞妞的孩子要回家

从此天下人都要记住你的名字
从此每一滴雨水都是泪珠
从此爸爸每天都在这里等你
从春到夏 从今夜到白头

妞妞是个上学的女孩吗
她很独立很爱笑吗
她喜欢唱歌还是爱画画
她穿着校服还是花裙子呢

爸爸骑车从很远的地方过来
爸爸记得今天是头七
第七天的魂魄要回家
爸爸怕你在路上就饿了啊

爸爸自己的饭盒落在车筐
妞妞的饭盒挂在车把手
妞妞的饭盒这么饱满
这么稳稳当当地挂着
你吃饱啊 饱饱地走向你的下一生
不要回头再看

你不要认出爸爸
不要担心爸爸会离开
你不见爸爸才能身轻如燕
你把惊恐 绝望和窒息
全都留下来吧
让爸爸扛起这如山的沉重

那个人坐在那里
他打算坐多久呢？
快递纸箱的一面垫在他身下
另一面写着再也不能错过的重逢
我试图念完这句话
但怎么也念不下去
我们要有多坚强 或者多柔软
才能念出这父亲的心语
妞妞 爸爸还想
接你回家

我愿地铁入口从此有一座雕像
刻下这位无名的父亲
不要高高挺立 像个炸碉堡的
不要底座 刻上什么官方说辞
就这样 低垂着头
蒙着雨衣的男子
卑微 执拗 沉痛 无语
像地面的纸板那样朴素 脆弱
像过时已久 比电动车更老的自行车
像那根撑着纸板的竹竿
力尽一己之力 支撑着
妞妞 你看见爸爸写的字了吗

我知道河南老家话管女孩叫小妞
我知道有的妞妞不受待见
成就了异国奥运的传奇
但我还知道有很多妞妞有这样的父亲啊
他买不起一束鲜花
但他给妞妞带饭了
他像祭奠者们摆放鲜花一样
把自己放在地上
要等妞妞过来拿饭啊

他说不起北大教授的豪言壮语
爸爸有钱了 给你买个美国户口
他孤独地坐在那里
像洪流肆虐后留下的一块石头
你们用挡板遮住鲜花的景象
但怎么遮挡得了妞妞的爸爸呢
他坐在那里
哀伤如空气 连通生死

从此想起郑州就会想起这个父亲
从此再也忘不了地铁带走了妞妞
从此大雨纷飞都是送别
从此在这里见证天使的等候
从春到夏 从今夜到白头

          2021年7月26日夜深

中文版轉載自https://www.chinesepen.org/blog/archives/159792