The Story of My Father（13-15) 我的父親（13-15）
13
When I was in the sophomore class, I received a letter from my father saying that he had joined the Party. His tone was very formal, with a little bit of excitement.
大學二年級時，我接到父親來信。他告訴我他入黨了，語氣很正式，似乎還透著一絲絲的激動。
I was very surprised by this. Because of the special political environment in China, I remembered that my parents never discussed politics or state affairs at home. Nor would they ever discuss their political views with their daughters. When I chose my future major in high school, my father’s “famous” sentence that “1+1 always equals 2” was the only statement I ever heard that included a little dose of politics.
這多少讓我有些驚訝，甚至很是驚訝。由於中國特殊的政治環境，在我的記憶中，父母從來不會在家中談論政治或國家大事，更不會跟女兒們討論自己的政治觀點。我選擇專業時，父親那句「不管誰當國家主席，1＋1永遠等於2」的「名言」，應該是我從小到大聽到的父親唯一一次帶有一點政治色彩的表述。
Why did my father join the Communist Party? Did he still have hope for this Party? Or was it because he wouldn’t be treated as a different species afterwards? Sadly enough, I never had a chance to discuss this with him.
父親到底為甚麼入黨？是對這個黨仍然充滿希望，還是入了黨後不會再被視為異類而受到排擠？
14
When I was in my junior year of university, mobilized by the political instructor, I also handed in my application to join the Party. Recalling the motivations now, I found there could have been two.
大學三年級時，在政治輔導員的動員下，我也上交了入黨申請書。現在回想起來，原因有兩個：第一，是父親的入黨。從小母親就常說父親偏心，在三個女兒中最疼我。反過來，父親在我心中的地位，也是很高的。我很在乎父親所做的選擇，和父親對一件事情的看法。我想，他在遭受那麼多坎坷後，仍然願意入黨，一定是因為他覺得這個黨還有希望。
One was my father’s move to join the Party. Ever since my childhood, my mother always said that I was my father’s favorite, and that he liked me most amongst his three daughters.
另一個原因，是我聽信了一種說法： 雖然黨還不夠好，但更多如我一般的好成員加入的話，難道不可以從內部改造、改善它嗎？
Accordingly, I also held my father in high esteem. I cared a lot about what he thought and chose. I thought to myself: after experiencing so many hardships, he was still willing to join the party. It must because that he still had hope for the party.
Another reason was that I was somehow convinced by this saying: even if the Party was not good enough, it could be changed for better if more good members joined it and improved it from within.
If we explore further, there could actually be a third reason. I had always been a so-called “student-of-three-excellent-qualities” since elementary school. Living in a society where everything was under control of the Party, I had always thought that one should be excellent in everything, and to join the Young Pioneers, the Youth League, and then the Party was a “natural” path that a good student and a good citizen should take.
其實細究起來應該還有第三個原因。從小到大一直是「三好學生」的我，生長在一切社會資源都被中共控制的社會，從小就認為，「學習好」、「表現好」是應該的，入隊、入團、入黨，是一個好學生、好社會成員自然而又必然的人生軌跡。
Thus, I became the first Party member in our class. When we graduated one year later, there were only two Party members in our class of 30 students.
就這樣，我成了全班第一名黨員。到大學畢業時，我們班一共也只有兩人入黨。
15
Later on I graduated, began my career, married; and had a child. Everything went smoothly on the path that was designed and hoped for by my parents. I had not only entered the best university in China, gained a master’s degree, but also successfully entered the Development Research Center of the State Council, a workplace that many people wanted to get into but couldn’t. At the same time, I also enjoyed love and a happy family of my own.
再以後，我畢業、工作、結婚、生女，一切都在符合父母預設的軌道上進行著，不但上了名校、拿到碩士學位，成功進入國務院發展研究中心這樣多少人打破頭也擠不進去的好單位，同時也擁有了幸福美滿的家庭。
At that time my parents were so proud of me; and they had good reasons. My photo was part of the “Education Achievement Exhibition in Mianyang in Celebration of the 35th Anniversary of the Establishment of PRC [People’s Republic of China],” which was held at the People’s Park in the center of the city. It was said that every day thousands upon thousands of people visited the exhibition, and my photo caused quite a sensation.
那時父母跟誰說起我來都笑的合不攏嘴。我考上北大那年，大照片還被掛在綿陽市中心的人民公園大門口，作為綿陽「建國三十五週年教育成果展」的一部分展出。據說這個「成果展」，特別是其中我的大照片，在每天都萬頭攢動的人民公園，引起了不小的轟動。也許是因為人們覺得，南山中學有人考上北大不算太稀奇，但一個看起來明明就是「繡花枕頭（一包草）」的女孩子考上北大，就比較少見了。
There was an old saying in China that “Inside an embroidered pillowcase was only grass,” which means that good-looking people are usually very stupid inside and have no wisdom. So people felt it was hard to believe that a girl who was as attractive as an embroidered pillowcase could actually be admitted by Peking University.
我那時已離開綿陽去北京上學了，本來並不知道這個「盛況」，但一時間，我接到數封陌生人從綿陽寄到北大的信，有表示仰慕的，有討教學習經驗的，讓我莫名其妙。向家人打聽，才了解到「原來如此」。
I had already left Mianyang when the exhibition was on; and didn’t know anything about all this until letters of strangers from Mianyang suddenly flooded me. Some people expressed their admiration, and some asked me to share tips on how to do well in school. I didn’t understand why all these letters arrived until my family told me about the “Education Achievement Exhibition.”
（To be continued 待續 ）
This photo was taken on my 17th birthday and was displayed at the “Education Achievement Exhibition” held in the People’s Park in the center of Mianyang City. Mr hair in the photo was cut by my father. 我十七歲的生日照，在我考上北大那年被當作綿陽「建國三十五週年教育成果展」的一部分，在市中心人民公園大門口展出。這個頭也是父親剪的。那個年代剪這種看起來很「時髦」的髮式的女孩子還很少，同學覺得稀奇，向我打聽是在哪裡剪的，當我說是父親替我剪的時，同學問：「你父親是理髮師啊？」
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