The Story of My Father（30-33) 我的父親（30-33）
30
On Oct. 27, 2014, my father passed away after living in misery for many years. When he departed from this world, none of his three daughters were able to be around him.
2014年10月27日，鬱鬱寡歡多年的父親離開了人世。他走的時候，三個女兒一個也沒能陪伴左右。
I wept silently in a far away and foreign land. When my father’s situation deteriorated rapidly, I once wanted very much to rush to the Chinese Consulate to see if I could get a visa to return to China. However, my supervisor stopped me and said that he didn’t think my father would want to see me return and put myself in danger.
我在異國他鄉默默的哭泣。父親的病情急劇惡化時，我在情緒的衝動中，曾經真想衝到中領館去簽證試試。
但我的主管勸住了我，讓我不要衝動，並說父親一定不希望我此時回去添亂。
And the police didn’t even spare my parents when my father was dying, as they thought that would be the best opportunity to force me back. Being pushed by them into a corner, my mother clenched her teeth and said: “Don’t push us. We don’t need her to come back. After her father dies, I will just incinerate the body and then sprinkle the ashes into the river! If she has filial piety, she can try to remember her father in her heart; if she has no filial piety, that is also fine! We don’t need her back!”
父親臨終之際，國安還不忘利用這個「大好」時機繼續逼迫母親。母親被逼急了，咬牙說：「不用她回來！人死了，我一把火燒了，骨灰灑到涪江裡去！她要有孝心，在心裡想著點她老爸就是了。沒孝心就拉倒，不用她回來！」
Mother’s “ruthless” words really hurt my heart. But what could I say? Under the ruthless CCP regime, if my mother were not tough enough, how could she survive all the atrocities that could have killed her many times over otherwise?
聽到母親的這種狠話，我除了心如刀絞外，又能如何？在共產邪黨統治的天下，母親要沒這點狠勁，又焉能忍受一次又一次與親人的生離死別，獨立支撐和承擔那麼多事情，而活到今天？
31
After more than one month, I still couldn’t get over my grief and regret. I was extremely upset that I couldn’t be at his side when he was dying. I was even more upset that I had not tried hard enough to persuade him to take up Falun Gong again, as I knew that the home phone was tapped.
我的心亂了一個多月，為自己過去十幾年都不能見到父親、不能在父親最後的歲月在他身邊盡孝而難過，更痛悔自己因害怕家中的電話有監聽、怕給父親帶來麻煩、怕自己的勸說失敗，等等，而沒有早點動員他重新修煉法輪功。在他去世的頭一天，我還曾計劃第二天晚上要不管不顧、克服種種怕心，勸他重新修煉來著，誰知第二天一早，聽到卻是他的死訊……他如果能早一點恢復修煉，結局一定不會這樣！我不知怎樣才能彌補這一切。
I was afraid that if I did, I would bring more trouble to him. As it happened, on the night before he passed away, I had been still planning that I would overcome my fear the next day and ask him to take up Falun Gong again for his health.
However, early the next morning, the first thing I learned about was his death. If he had resumed his practice of Falun Gong, I’m sure he wouldn’t have passed away like this! I didn’t know how I could make up for all the losses.
Finally I thought about something, which was, to publish a declaration on his behalf to quit from the CCP at The Epoch Times Quit the CCP website. Although he had told me before that he had already withdrawn from the party, I was not sure how he did it. Therefore, I thought it was necessary for me to publish a declaration on his behalf.
終於， 我想起一個辦法，那就是到大紀元退黨網站上替他發一個退黨聲明。雖然他生前曾告訴我，他已經退黨，但我不知他是以何種形式、怎樣退的，因此我認為還是有必要替他在大紀元網站上發個公開聲明。
I sincerely believe that people’s souls live beyond their physical bodies, and they will go to other dimensions. Therefore, it was necessary to help my father to clear the “mark of beast” left on him by the CCP, as he was once a CCP member.
我深信，人死後元神不滅，哪怕是他到了另外的空間，幫他抹去曾經的中共獸印，也是必要的，也是目前來說，我唯一能幫他做的。曾經才華橫溢、善良正直的他，曾經因修煉法輪大法而使生命綻放異彩的他，如今卻這樣悲苦的離世，甚至在死前都不能見到他最鐘愛的女兒一面，這些不都是拜中共邪黨之所賜嗎？我深信，已經到了另外空間的父親一定會樂見我幫他聲明退黨。
This was also perhaps the only thing I could do for him at this stage. It really pained my heart to think that my dear father, who was once so talented, so upright, and so kind-hearted, died in such miserable circumstances. He was even denied the chance to see his daughters on his deathbed. Wasn’t all of this caused by the CCP? I was very confident that my father’s soul would want me to declare his wish to cut any lasting ties with the party.
32
On Nov. 29, 2014, I published the following declaration on behalf of my father at the Quit the CCP site on The Epoch Times website. As I was still very upset because of my father’s death, I could only write a very simple, and therefore not satisfactory declaration:
2014年11月29日，我在大紀元退黨網站替父親發表了如下聲明。由於心緒依然煩亂，這份聲明寫的很「簡陋」、很是辭不達意。
Quit the CCP Declaration for My Late Father Jiang Shengzhi
《代先父蔣勝之退出中共邪黨》
My late father Jiang Shengzhi once practiced Falun Gong; but was forced to give up because of the CCP’s persecution. He died of illnesses recently after suffering miserably for many years. The practice of Falun Gong once benefited my father greatly, and he looked at least 10 years younger because of it. It is impossible to know how many people like my father have been killed either directly or indirectly by the CCP’s persecution of Falun Gong!
先父蔣勝之，生前曾修煉法輪功，後因中共迫害而被迫放棄，近日於病中鬱鬱而終。父親修煉之後，本已獲得身心的極大改善，外貌亦年輕了不止十歲。中共的迫害，奪走了不知多少像他這樣的曾經的修煉人的性命！
Although my father had chosen to withdraw from the CCP before, he had not published his declaration at the Epoch Times website. Hence, I hereby solemnly declare on his behalf that he would like to quit the CCP and its related organizations, and I do believe that his soul in heaven would like to see me doing this for him.
父親生前雖已選擇退出中共，但未曾在大紀元網站上發表聲明。今日代他在此鄭重聲明退出中共及與中共邪黨有關的一切組織，相信他的在天之靈，一定會為此心慰。
Jiang Shengzhi’s eldest daughter Zeng Zheng
蔣勝之之長女：曾錚
33
I had always wanted to write something to commemorate my father; but always hesitated, as I didn’t know where to start.
我一直想再寫點兒甚麼來紀念父親，卻遲遲沒有動筆，也不知從何寫起。
In April 2015, the number of people who have published their declarations to withdraw from the CCP and its related organizations exceeded 200 million. To celebrate this occasion, The Epoch Times launched a composition competition and called for article submissions. I thought to myself, let me commemorate my father via participating in this competition. Apart from this, I couldn’t think of any better way.
2015年4月，在大紀元網站上發表退黨、退團、退隊聲明的「三退」人數突破了兩億，同時大紀元網站刊登了《兩億人「三退」全球有獎徵文大賽公告》。我想：那就通過參加這次徵文來寫出自己對父親的紀念吧。除此之外，我也沒有其他方式了。
Therefore I wrote this long article in tears.
於是我流著眼淚，寫下此篇長文。
（To be continued 待續 ）
This photo of my father and me was taken in Yuanming Yuan (Old Summer Palace) in Beijing when I was a graduate student. 父親在我上研究生期間，曾到北京看望我。此照片攝於圓明園。
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