If I were a flower, I had started “anticipating” my withering and falling even before I fully blossomed. 正如一朵還未開放，就開始預想著自己何時會凋零的花朵一樣，內心無比敏感柔弱。

I guess it was because it was very important to belong to the "right" class of the society in those days. 也許，在潛意識中，我想看起來能像一個「勞動人民」。