The Story of My Father（28-29) 我的父親（28-29）
28
Four months later, I was lucky enough to be able to escape to Australia, and formally begin another stage of my life in exile. With the help of local Falun Gong practitioners, I settled down quickly and continued to write my autobiography, “Witnessing Histroy: One Woman’s Fight for Freedom and Falun Gong,” to expose the atrocious CCP’s persecution of Falun Gong.
四個月後，我逃到澳洲，開始了海外流亡生涯。我將我的經歷寫成自傳體紀實文學《靜水流深》在國際社會發表，揭露中共迫害法輪功的慘烈。這本書被澳洲最大的出版社翻譯成英文版「Witnessing History: One Woman’s Fight for Freedom and Falun Gong」在澳洲、美國、英國等多個國家出版發行，在主流社會引起極大關注。數年後海外最大的華語電視台，新唐人電視台將我的故事拍成紀錄片《自由中國》。片子問世後屢獲國際大獎，我受邀到多個國家和城市演講。我因此成了「名人」，也讓留在綿陽的父母受到中共國安的格外「關注」。
The book was translated into English by the biggest publisher in Australia, distributed worldwide, and raised a lot of attention internationally as the first book written by a labor camp survivor since the crackdown of Falun Gong began.
Several years later, New Tang Dynasty Television, the largest independent global Chinese-language television network, co-produced a documentary called “Free China: the Courage to Believe” with me as one of the main characters. This film won numerous international awards after its release, and I was invited to many cities and countries to give speeches. Because of all this, I received a lot of media coverage. As a result, my parents in Mianyang also received “extra attention” from the National Security Bureau.
In the beginning, the national security police only “invited” my parents to tea regularly. Later on they gave them more pressure by asking them to go abroad to convince me into returning to China to “take a look and see how great the motherland has turned out to be.”
剛開始，國安只是定期找父母「喝茶」，後來就要求他們到海外來，勸我「歸降」。
I am aware that when a Falun Gong practitioner returns, they will force him or her into revealing as much information as possible about overseas Falun Gong practitioners. Ultimately, the returned practitioner becomes a spy for them thereafter.
Once, before the Middle-Autumn Festival, a time when Chinese families traditionally come together, the director of the National Security Bureau in Mianyang even personally sought my mother for a discussion.
有一年中秋前，綿陽國安局局長更親自出馬，對母親說，誠懇的邀請我回去看看，一定保證我的安全。他們甚至說，可以寫一份保證書交到我母親手中。他們逼母親跟我聯繫，傳達以上信息。
He said to her, that they sincerely invited me back to China and would ensure my safety. He even said that he could write a guarantee statement and give it to my mother. They were actually still forcing her to contact me to pass on their “invitation.”
The police writing a guarantee statement to me? I didn’t know whether I should laugh or cry. When I was detained in the labor camp, they nearly tortured us to death in order to force us to give up our beliefs by writing a guarantee statement that we would not practice Falun Gong.
國安給我寫保證？當初在勞教所，為了讓法輪功學員寫不煉功的保證，他們把我們往死裡整。事過這許多年，他們卻要給我寫保證？他們能保證我的「安全」，為何不把監獄裡關的法輪功學員都放了？為何每天還在抓捕法輪功學員？為何還犯下活摘法輪功學員器官這種「這個星球上所未有過的」驚天大罪？這種將人、將人體器官當作商品，批量強取並販售之事，連納粹也沒幹過，已超過人類的想像能力。國安給我寫保證？我不知是該哭還是該笑。我請母親轉告他們：對不起，我不想回去。
Now they want to write a guarantee to me? If they were really willing to “guarantee” my safety, why don’t they just release all the countless imprisoned Falun Gong practitioners in China? Why are they still committing the inhuman crime of killing Falun Gong practitioners on demand for their organs? Even the Nazi regime has never done such a thing as forcefully mass harvesting human organs to be used as merchandise for profit. This brutality has gone far beyond any normal human’s imagination.
The police writing a guarantee statement for me? No way. I asked my mother to tell them, “Sorry, but I don’t think I will go back.”
When the police heard this, they forgot to put on their disguise; and viciously threatened my mother, “If she refuses to come back this time, never dream about coming back again!”
惱羞成怒的國安終於露出真面目，放出狠話道：「這次不回來，一輩子也別想再回來！」
Most of the time, it was my mother who warded off the police harassment. I learnt from my mother that father always had only one sentence for the police when they asked me to go back to China: “The time is not right yet.”
很多時候，都是由母親出面應對國安，從母親口中，我知道父親對他們的回答永遠只有一句：「讓她回來，現在時機還不成熟。」
Every time when I called home, it was always my mother who answered the phone; whilst my father seldom talked with me. When he did talk, he always simply said that he was fine, and asked me not to worry about him.
每次我打電話回去，都是母親接。爸爸很少跟我說話。說話的時候，也只是簡單的說，他很好，讓我放心。
However, I learned from my mother that he was not doing too well. His blood pressure went up again, he had cataracts in his eyes and his eyesight had turned very bad. Sometimes, when he tried to fill his cup, he poured the water outside of the cup as he couldn’t see clearly.
但我從母親那裡聽說，其實他並不太好。他的血壓又上去了，眼睛裡長了白內障，諾大的水杯都看不清，倒開水時會倒到杯子外面去……
29
In August 2014, after being separated from my father for more than 13 years, I suddenly heard that he was in a very critical condition and had been sent to the hospital with heart and respiratory failure.
2014年8月，在與父親分離十三年之後，我突然接到消息，說他已被下病危通知，住進醫院，「心臟衰竭，呼吸衰竭。」
While the entire family was feeling extremely worried and helpless, police officers lost no time to appear at the hospital, and said to my mother in a tone as if they had just won a big war, “Need your eldest daughter to come back? Well, we can still offer help.”
正在一家人心急如焚、彷徨無計時，國安特務不失時機的「及時」出現在醫院，得意洋洋以勝利者的姿態對母親說，如果我想回去，可以找他們商量，云云。
Offering help? Several years ago, when I went to the Chinese Consulate in Sydney for some attestation service, instead of offering me the service, the officer gave a pile of documents and asked me to write down details including all my Falun Gong activities in Australia, as well as all the information I knew about other Falun Gong practitioners. After I did what they wanted, they would then stamp the documents for me.
商量？幾年前，我因處理一點私事需要辦授權書的認證，去找悉尼中領館辦理時，他們遞給我的，卻是厚厚的一摞白紙。我必須在白紙上「交代」所有我在海外參加的揭露中共迫害法輪功的活動，以及我所知道的所有其他法輪功學員的情況，他們才會考慮給我做授權書認證。
Faced with this kind of scampish blackmail, what could I do except walk away? So if I really asked for “help” this time, wouldn’t they give me a thicker pile of paper sheets?
面對這種流氓行徑，我除了轉身走開，又能做甚麼呢？此時去找他們「商量」，會是甚麼結果呢？難道他們不會拿出一疊更厚的白紙？
（To be continued 待續 ）
This photo was taken in Peking (Beijing) University when my father came to visit me during his business trip. 我上大學時，父親曾利用出差的機會到學校看我。這張攝於北大未名湖畔。
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