The Story of My Father（25-27) 我的父親（25-27）
25
Because of the special circumstances surrounding my sister and me, it was very difficult for us to communicate with each other. I dared not use my parents’ home phone or my cell phone to call her directly, as that could bring immediate danger to her. I had to call her beeper number using a public phone, and then wait there for her to return my call.
由於我和妹妹的特殊處境，彼此聯絡非常不方便。我當然不敢用家中的電話或手機直接聯繫她，那樣立刻會為她招來殺身之禍。我只能用公用電話打她的傳呼機，然後站在原地死等回話。她接到傳呼後只能在可以從小酒吧中抽身時，找不同的公用電話回打給我。
After receiving my beeper message, my sister needed to try to find an opportunity to leave the bar first, and then find a public phone to call me back. She had to be very careful, so each time she called, she tried to use a different location.
After overcoming all sorts of difficulties and challenges, I finally found a place to go. I asked my sister to buy two train tickets from Chengdu, one for herself and one for me. As the train started from Chengdu, it was easier to buy a sitting ticket from there. When the train stopped as Mianyang, I would board from there and join her.
克服了種種困難，我數日後終於找到可以投奔的去處。我跟妹妹約好，讓她從成都起點站幫我也買好火車票，這樣才能有座位，等火車到綿陽站停靠時，我用站臺票上車跟她會合，一起北上逃走。
I did exactly as we agreed. However, when the train arrived and stopped at Mianyang, my sister didn’t come down with my ticket as I had expected.
到了預定離開那晚，我如約到了綿陽站，妹妹卻沒有像說好的那樣下車接我。
I felt something very ominous, but still managed to get on board with my platform ticket. I went straight to where our seats should have been and found two peasant workers sitting there. I asked them whether they had seen a young woman with such and such an appearance when they first boarded the train.
我感到不妙，還是硬著頭皮用站臺票上了車，找到原本應該是我倆的座位，卻發現那裡坐著兩個看起來像是農民工的人。我向他們打聽上車時有無見到一個長得如此這般的人，他們驚慌失措的一口咬定：沒看見，我們一開始就坐在這裡的！顯然他們怕我說這兩個座位不是他們的，跟他們搶座位。
They immediately cut me short in a panic and said, “No, we didn’t! We have been here from the very beginning!” I knew that they were worrying that I would say that those two seats were not theirs and drive them away.
Failing to find out any clue, I had to push my way to and fro within the very crowded train, trying to see if I could find any trace of my sister while knowing too well that the possibility was miniscule. After about one hour, the train arrived at the next stop, which was more than 50 kilometers (about 31 miles) away. I had searched from the first to the last car of the long train a couple of times, but still didn’t see any trace of my sister.
我不得要領，只能在擁擠的火車上擠來擠去，從車頭擠到車尾，來來回回找了一個多小時，直到火車開到一百多里外的下一站，還是不見妹妹的蹤影。
Not knowing what to do, I got off the train. It was about 3:00 am in the morning; with heavy rain pouring down. Everything was so dark, and so strange. Standing in the pouring rain, my heart kept sinking and sinking.
萬般無奈中，我只好補張票下車。這時已是凌晨三點，陌生的城市一片漆黑，下著滂沱大雨。我無處可去，無計可施，心比鉛還要沉。
Finally I decided to call a taxi and go back to Mianyang. How could I leave alone without knowing exactly what had happened to my sister?
我不甘心一人離開，又打出租車回到父母家。沒有妹妹的確切消息，我往哪裡去？
As soon as I entered my parents’ home, I saw a lot of luggage scattered everywhere on the floor. My mother was trying to sort them out; with her hair in a mess.
一進門，就見地上扔著好多行李，母親散亂著頭髮正在整理。
Upon seeing me, she didn’t ask why I ended up returning. Instead, she said to me with a dull and blank face, “Your sister was arrested yesterday. This is her luggage; your brother-in-law just got it back from the detention center. And this is the receipt of the confiscated items that were found with her when she was caught.”
她看見我，也沒問我為何回來了，只呆呆的說：「你妹妹昨天被抓了，這是她的行李，你妹夫剛從拘留所取回來的。這是在她身上搜出來的東西的單據。」
I took the receipt and looked at it with a blank mind. It says, ” A number of copies of Falun Gong books; two train tickets to Taiyuan; and a storage room ticket for luggage…”
單據上赫然寫著：法輪功書籍若干本、去太原火車票兩張、火車站行李寄存票一張，等等。
My father suddenly grabbed my bag from the ground, rammed it into my hand, pushed me out of door; and shouted loudly, “Hurry! Go! Don’t wait until the police find out who was planning to run off together with your sister!”
我看著滿地的行李，拿著那張單據呆在當地，大腦停止了思維。父親一把拎起我的包，強行將我推出門外，奮力吼道：「快走！別等警察問出準備與她同行的是誰！」
I was dumbfounded for a while. Then I clenched my teeth, took a last look at my mother’s newly dull eyes and grey hair, then turned around abruptly and quickly walked away.
我愣了一愣，望了望母親斑白的兩鬢、乾枯的雙眼，和一年多來不知衰老了多少的臉，咬咬牙轉身走了。
26
Later on I learned from my mother that it was indeed that police classmate of my sister who had reported upon her, so that he could gain the 30K yuan reward.
After he alerted the authorities, police officers from Chengdu and Mianyang worked together and launched a blanket search for my sister, while I was trying to find a place for her to go. On the day when we had planned to leave, my sister left the bar in early morning; and stored her luggage in the train station, as the train wouldn’t leave until late at night.
後來得知，果然是那天我和妹妹在小旅館迎面碰到的那個警察同學為了三萬元懸賞金出賣了她。他向公安報告後，成都、綿陽兩地警察聯手，我這邊在綿陽幫妹妹聯繫去處，他們那邊一連數日在成都展開地毯式搜查。妹妹準備離開那天，已從酒吧辭了工。她先把行李寄存在火車站，因離火車出發還有幾個小時，就想去跟之前一直不敢見面的幾名同學朋友告別，並講法輪功真相。哪知功虧一簣，在公共汽車上被抓住了。
She decided to utilize her spare time to visit several classmates in Chengdu, whom she dared not meet before. She wanted to say farewell and tell them about Falun Gong and why it was being persecuted. But, alas, she ended up being caught on the bus, before she ever saw any of her classmates.
All this was reported in great detail by the “Rule of Law” newspaper in Mianyang. Local police celebrated my sister’s arrest as a big achievement, since she was on the national wanted list. So they boasted about themselves in every detail in the newspaper.
在公共汽車上抓住妹妹這個細節，是母親在綿陽《法制報》上看到的。警察抓住「要犯」，當作好大一件事，寫了長篇報導，在報紙上邀功。
I couldn’t imagine how many police officers they had deployed in order to catch my sister in a big city with a population of more than 10 million. How did they manage to locate her while she was just randomly on a bus without any previous plan? As far as I know, she didn’t have a cell phone with her either, which might have been used to trace her. I could never figure this out.
我很難想像警察們在常住人口多達一千多萬的成都，到底動用了多少人力，才能在妹妹臨時起意、隨機乘坐的某輛公共汽車上，準確的將她「定位」。
27
Several days later, I arrived in Taiyuan alone. The friend who waited for me there still took me to Mountain Wutai, a famous Buddhist site, according to our initial plan.
幾天後，我孤身逃到太原，接應我的人按原計劃帶我去了五臺山。我站在山頂，想著本應站在我身旁的妹妹，看著滿山遍野「人雜叫賣鞭炮鳴」（1）的與佛國世界的莊嚴毫不相干的「熱鬧」景象，聽著出售紀念品的商店裡的錄音機放出的誦經聲，一種「前不見古人，後不見來者」的悲愴，突然充斥在胸，逼得我珠淚滾滾而下。神佛的殿堂和聖典被人用來做了無數次的金錢交易，而真正修行之人卻在茫茫天地間找不到棲身之地。
Standing on top of the mountain, thinking about my sister who should have been there together with me, looking at the sacred Buddhist site being turned into a chaotic tourists’ destiny, and listening to the sutras chanting played with cassette recorders in the shop that sold travel souvenirs, I was suddenly overwhelmed by a tremendous feeling of sadness and sorrow. I couldn’t help but cry. Deep within my heart, I suddenly felt connected with a poet of more than a thousand years ago, who wrote this famous piece:
Before me, where have all the Sages of yore gone?
Behind me, where are their successors (– Tell me,m’friend)?
O Heaven and Earth, how boundless and without end!
I’m all alone, down my cheeks tears keep rolling on.
Yes, the irony and sadness was, while ancient and sacred Buddhist temples and sutras could be traded for money a million times, genuine cultivators of Buddha principles were not even allowed to exist in the vast space between heaven and earth.
However, while I was feeling extremely concerned for my sister, I had never realized that the moment when my father pushed me out of the door would be the last time that I would ever set my eyes upon him.
不過，當我為妹妹落入魔掌而心痛之時，卻永遠不曾想到，父親將我推出家門的那一刻，竟會成為我們的永訣。
（To be continued 待續 ）
My sister and I in Mianyang in 1998, one year before the persecution of Falun Gong started. 我與大妹妹1998年，即鎮壓法輪功之前一年，攝於四川綿陽。
