My New Love Diary (3): Loneliness and Companionship 我的新愛情日記（之三）：孤獨與相伴
The day before yesterday, I went to the supermarket to buy groceries. When I waited to check out, there was a mother and daughter in front of me. When I finished paying and pushed the cart out, I saw the mother loading her groceries in the trunk of a car, while her daughter was sitting in the driver's seat waiting for her. Apparently, the daughter had driven the car to the front door of the supermarket so that the mother could start loading the groceries as soon as she went out.
前日去超市買菜，交款時排在我前面的是一對母女，她們先付好款走了。等我交完錢推著推車出來，看見那位母親正把推車中的菜往車上放，而她女兒坐在駕駛座上等她。顯然，是女兒去把車開到了超市正門口，這樣母親一出門就可「裝車」。
I looked up and saw that he, who had come with me but had not entered the supermarket, had also driven his car over and parked in front of the daughter's car. So I also opened the trunk of his car and put my groceries inside it.
我擡眼望了一下，看見與我同來，卻沒有進超市的他也把車開過來了，就停在那女兒的車前面。於是我也打開車的後備箱，把買來的菜往車上搬。
It was such an ordinary thing, and such an ordinary scene. However, my heart was suddenly hit with a wave of warmth. For so many years, I had been used to shopping alone, pushing the groceries to the car park alone, loading the car alone, and then driving home alone...... But today, like the mother and daughter, I had a companion, someone who can form a good “team” with me, and I only had to do half of the "job".
就這麼一件平常的事，就這麼一個平常的情景，卻突然讓我的心感到溫暖無比。多少年了，我已經習慣於獨自購物、獨自推著菜裝車，再獨自開回家卸車……網上講的孤獨的十個等級，似乎我都經歷過了。今日卻與那對母女一樣，有了「伴」，有了可以與我默契配合之人，而我也只需做一半的「工作」了。
The warmth quietly rose in my heart, and it also made me realize that, after all, although I thought that I was doing very well in all those years, and nothing was missing, in fact, my heart must be still feeling quite lonely. Otherwise, why would I be so moved by such an “ordinary” small thing?
這溫暖在心間悄悄升起，也突然讓我意識到，莫非，說到底，那些年中，我雖然覺得自己過得挺好，啥也不缺，而事實上，內心卻是依然十分孤獨、孤單的？不然，我爲何會爲這麼小的一件事情感動如許呢？
Today we went out to "work" together again. When we came back, it suddenly started to rain heavily. We didn't bring any umbrellas, what should we do? He smiled and said, "It's okay. Let’s just run. The rain doesn’t bother me at all.”
今日又一起出門「工作」了。幹完活回來，天突然下起了大雨。我們都沒有帶傘，怎麼辦？他笑著說，沒事，跑就對了，我不怕雨的。
I also said I was not bothered either. When we approached home, I thought we would just park the car and run home together in the rain from the parking place. But, he drove me all the way to the doorstep, so I didn't have to get wet. Then he drove the car to the parking lot some distance away from the house.
我也說不怕。開車到家時，我本預備，停好車兩人一起冒雨從停車的地方狂奔回家的，哪知他一路開著車把我送到家門口，這樣我就不用淋雨了。然後他再把車開往離家門有一段距離的停車場。
I ran back home in just several steps. When looking at the rain outside, I suddenly thought: Why not take an umbrella and put it up for him?
我三步兩步就奔回到家中，看見門外的大雨，突然想：爲何不拿把傘去接他一下？
So I quickly took an umbrella and ran back to his car, just when he was getting out. So the two of us shared one umbrella and walked home together well protected. It felt so wonderful and sweet. Neither of us got caught in the rain. Although both of us didn't care about getting wet, and were prepared to get wet, in the end, we didn't. We experienced something “extra”, some unexpected sweetness and happiness. The rain, something that usually makes people feel miserable and moody, thus instantly became the "sweetener" for our happy lives.
於是飛快地取傘再跑回他車前，正趕上他停好車，兩人一起打著傘回家，既甜蜜親切，又誰都沒有被雨淋到。雖然兩人都不在乎淋雨，也已做好了淋雨的思想準備，但到頭來沒淋上，不由得覺得像撿了個什麼意外的「便宜」一樣想「偷著樂」。下雨這種通常會讓人感到悲慘和淒涼的事情，也瞬間變成了快樂生活的「調味劑」。
The other day some friends were debating online about which is better: staying single or getting married. I have lived both lives. Perhaps there is no "right" or "standard" answer to the question of whether it is better to be single or to get married. Although there are indeed many "disadvantages" and "inconveniences" of being single, but if you marry the wrong person, it could be much worse than being single.
前些天有朋友在網上討論單身好還是結婚好，似乎爭得不可開交。我是兩種日子都過過的人。也許，單身好還是結婚好，這並沒有「正確」或「標準」答案。單身固然有諸多「不好」、「不便」，但找錯了結婚對像的話，可能還不如單身。
Being single might mean that one can have a carefree life and do things in whatever way he/she likes. As the old saying in Chinese says, “One person eats well, the whole family is satisfied.” Life can be indeed leisurely and easy. However, having a partner in one’s life can allow one to experience the wonderful feeling of elevation after you try to think more about and love your partner more. If the "companion" happens to be a good match in terms of soul, mindset, spirit, ideology, and emotion, it will make one's life, soul, mind, and spirit more complete and sound.
單身的日子可以過得「任性」而愜意，「一人吃飽全家不餓」，確實可以悠哉悠哉。然而，有伴的日子，卻也可以讓人體悟在爲他人著想中昇華的美妙。如果那個「伴」剛好能在心靈、思想、精神、理念及感情上很契合的話，更會讓人的生命、心靈、思想及精神更加完整健全。
Perhaps God created man and woman for them to love and companion each other, and to comfort each other through the difficult times on Earth.
上帝造了男人女人，也許就是讓他們彼此相愛相伴，彼此安慰著度過這艱難人生罷。
And, things would be even more wonderful if a man and his woman can seek the Way together.
如果能一起尋道，當然就更妙了。
Therefore, there is no need to set limits for oneself. Just listen to your heart's call and grasp God's gift when it is given. At the same time, never forget to seek the Way and practice it, so that one can experience a richer and more complete life.
所以說，不必給自己設限，聽從內心的召喚，把握上帝的賜予，同時，時時處處，不忘尋道修行，體味更加豐富完整的人生。
10/17/2022
PS: I chose this photo for this article because it was taken when we went out to "work" together this afternoon. The so-called "work" is just to move my friend's things stored at my house to another friend's place. And this photo is the scenery near the friend's house.
又：我選這張照片做題圖，因爲它是今天下午我們一起出去「幹活」時順手照的。所謂「幹活」，不過是把朋友存在我這裏的東西搬到另一個朋友那裏去。這張照片， 便是朋友家附近的 風景。
Yes, he is still the same "gentleman" and "child". When he was working for me, on the one hand, he was as happy and energetic as a child; on the other hand, he was as refined and well-mannered as a gentleman. Every move he makes contains a gentleman's love and care for women, which only a noble gentleman has. I don't know whether this noble gentlemanly manner is inherent in him or the result of his long cultivation in the gentlemanly culture. I used to find it hard to imagine that a man could be so refined and gentlemanly while doing physical work.
是的，他仍然是那個「紳士」加「小孩」。幫我幹活的時候，他一方面像小孩子一樣歡天喜地，興致勃勃；一方面又像一個紳士一樣文質彬彬，一舉一動中都包含著高貴紳士特有的那種紳士對女性的愛意和照拂。我不知，這高貴的紳士風度，是他與生俱來的，還是在紳士文化中長期薰陶的結果。我以前很難想像，一個人在幹體力活時依然能這麼「文質彬彬」。
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