My New Love Diary (2): Love, Free Choice and A Safe Harbor 我的新愛情日記（之二）：愛與被愛，自由的選擇與「依附」
Although my firm determination not to marry again was first shaken by the boundless love of my mother, the real change of my mind happened after I cooked a delicious dish for myself one day. When I looked at that dish, I suddenly felt that there was still so much love in my heart, and I really wanted so badly to spoil someone with my love and make him happy.
雖然，我的堅決不再成家的念頭，是被無邊的母愛首次動搖的，但是真正動心想再次成家，卻是在一次烹調了一道美味佳餚之後。當時看著這道菜，突然覺得心中還有好多的愛，還好想讓哪個傻小子幸福一把。
I think this is the "need" to love others that some people talk about in the three realms of love, i.e., "to be loved, to love, and to become love".
我想，這就是有人談到的愛的三個境界，即「被愛、愛、成爲愛」中的那個愛別人的「需求」吧。
Perhaps there is really such a thing as “You will get what you want” in this world. ” So, after having the "heart" to "love", I really met that “dumb boy" who has just the “right amount of dumbness.”
也許世間真有「心想事成」這一說。所以，產生想「愛」的「心」之後，我真的就遇到了那個「傻得剛剛好」的傻小子。
Of course, at first, I didn't know that he was the “dumb boy". I only knew that he was curious about everything and wanted to learn everything. So we chatted about virtually everything. Somehow I started talking about how the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) had done damage to Chinese culture, including Chinese characters.
不過，剛開始，我並不知道他就是那個傻小子。我只知道，他不會中文，卻對一切都很好奇、都很想學，我們天南地北地「瞎聊」的時候，我不知怎麼就談到了中共對中國文化，比如漢字的破壞。
I typed out for him the simplified Chinese character for “love ( 爱) “ and the traditional Chinese character for “love( 愛)” on my cell phone and explained to him the difference between the two characters: while the traditional Chinese character for “love( 愛)” has a “heart(心)” in it, the “heart (心)” no longer exists in the sampled the Chinese character for love ( 爱). The CCP eliminated the “heart (心)” when it simplified the Chinese characters. So how can you “love” without a “heart”?
我在手機上分別給他打出簡體字的「爱」和正體字的「愛」，並解釋給他看這二者「有心」與「無心」的區別。
For me, using the word “love” to explain the damage done by the CCP was just an “unintentional” choice. So when I was eager to show him the difference between the two Chinese characters for “love” on my phone, I didn’t notice that my shoulder slightly rubbed against his.
我當時完全是「無心」的，因此，在舉著手機急於給他看這兩者的區別時，我並沒有注意到，自己的肩膀，無意中輕輕碰到了他的肩……
Later he told me that at that moment, for him, it was like getting an electric shock, so he only saw the “love (愛) ” that "had a heart (心)" ......
後來他說，那一刻，於他，就像遭了「電擊」一樣，所以他只看見了那個「有心」的「愛」……
That moment, perhaps, was just one of the many "predestined" moments of ours. However, when I recall everything, I am always amazed at how this “dumb boy” just got every step right…
那一刻，也許只是無數個「命中註定」時刻中的一個；但我一直驚異於，這個傻小子，是怎麼做到每一步都走對的？
Therefore, on a sunny afternoon, under a beaming grape trellis far from the hustle and bustle of the world, I made my vow and wish to him: "May Zhen-Shan-Ren* and my love be with you forever.”
於是，在一個陽光明媚的下午，在一個遠離塵世喧囂、閃著金光的葡萄架下，我對他說出了自己的誓言與心願：「May Zhen-Shan-Ren and my love be with you forever (願『真善忍』及我的愛永遠伴隨你。）」
At the same time, I really found that, as I thought before, it is very difficult for people to be “good" when you are alone because when you are alone, it is easy to indulge yourself, and not be that good.
However, in the “world” of two people, especially, in front of the person you want to love, and want to be good to, it is really easy to be good. And not only that, in the eyes of the one you love, and in front of the one who loves you, you will naturally become extremely "charming" and “enchanting”, and you will become a much better you.
與此同時，我也真的發現，正如自己此前所想，人要「慎獨」，其實是很難的，一個人時，很容易就放鬆、放縱自己；而在兩人的世界裏，特別是，在你想愛、想對他好的人面前，要做好，那真是容易的很。而且，不止是做好而已，在愛人的眼中，在愛人的面前，你甚至很自然就會「千嬌百媚」起來……
It also occurs to me that human beings, after all, are beings that should exist and live “collectively” - except, of course, for those who live alone far from the secular world to do cultivation in solitude - and therefore human beings always need to be “attached” to or have a connection with something.
由此也想到，人，畢竟是羣體性存在及生活的生命——當然，那些遠離人世的獨修者除外——，所以總還是要「依附」於什麼的。
And that “something”, I think, should be family, which is the harbor that God has ordained for human beings, for their souls and physical bodies. Since one's spouse is one's own choice (of course, it may be God's arrangement, but it will be manifested as one’s own choice anyway), therefore, family life is of an individual nature, and a manifestation of one’s free will.
而家庭，正是神給人規定的人所應該「依附」、依託身心之所在吧。愛人是自己選的（當然根本上可能是神安排的，表現出來是自己選的），因此家庭生活是個體的，是自由意志的體現。
On the contrary, if one “attaches" oneself to a certain group or community, it may not be a manifestation of one’s free will, but rather a manifestation of communist thinking, as “existing” “collectively” as a group may erase one’s free will and choice, while only "collective thinking” is emphasized. Where does this "collective thinking" come from? Most likely, it comes from the "leader" or "leadership" of the "group". That kind of "existence" should not be a normal human state.
反之，「依附」於某種羣體存在、生活的話，可能並不能體現自由意志，相反可能是共產主義思維的表現，因爲羣體性的存在，很可能會抹殺自由意志和選擇，而強調「集體意識」。這個「集體意識」來自哪裏呢？很可能只是「羣體」中的「領袖」或「領導」而已。那樣的「生活」，其實並不應該成爲正常人類的狀態。
Alas, am I really a thinker or a philosopher? I am supposed to talk about love, but why am I talking about these “strange things”?
唉，難道我真是個思想家或哲學家嗎？本來是說愛情的，怎麼說著說著就說到這兒啦？
Let me stop here, and go back to continue to “indulge" myself in my love.
就此打住，回去繼續「沉迷」於我的愛情之中吧。
*Zhen-Shan-Ren: (jhun-shahn-ren): Zhen (truth, truthfulness); Shan (compassion, benevolence, kindness, goodness); Ren (forbearance, tolerance, endurance, patience). Source: Glossary of “Zhuan Falun”, the main text of Falun Dafa.)
8/15/2022
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